Martyr to the cause, Jason Reid dragged his flu-ridden carcas (man flu, dear – she’s so dramatic) off to the Royal Vauxhall Tavern last Thursday to watch the unique stylings of satirist Alp Haydar. He also caught up with him after the show to find out a bit more about the world of Alp…
Imagine, if you will, a rather handsome and charming looking man of Turkish/Cypriot extraction bounding onto the stage of the RVT, with a rather modest demeanour. He is semi-nude (nudity is a running theme) with mock explosives strapped to his waist, singing ‘I will blow you away’, cheerfully, whilst lighting a phallic pyrotechnic which is erect and attached to his crotch. He juxtaposes that in-your-face tone with an adorably sweet smile and swagger. Got that image? Good. It’s a lot to take in, right? Alp Haydar really is unlike any cabaret artist we’ve ever seen…
The show we pitched up to see, entitled ‘Alp Haydar’s New Vagina’, was billed as a story of love, betrayal, murder and hate, following on from the last instalment in which Alp had lost the affections of his jihadist boyfriend Mohammed (due to the electric shock therapy administered by his mother, Sharia Law). The main crux of ‘Vagina’ centres around Alp having to undergo gender reassignment surgery, in a bid to fool his ex into loving him again.
There’s absolutely no denying that Alp’s one man show knowingly pushes the envelope with its style and content. Mixing interesting societal observations, whilst extrapolating details from his own life, gives the show an almost personal/autobiographical feel. He uses these experiences and observations to highlight potent socio and political issues through highly detailed and impressive multimedia visuals, totally original musical parody numbers, dramatic/comedy dialogue, pantomime-style performance and sharp instances of topicality.
Alp told me, after the show, that he’s always been interested in the arts. “I was twenty eight when I initially got into performing. I started out at the Cellar Door before moving onto the Battersea Barge and then here to the RVT. I kinda get off on doing and saying things that people don’t want to hear. I used to edit wedding videos so that’s where I got the idea of doing multimedia backgrounds. I thought instead of superimposing snow and the likes I’d do something more interesting, like your mother coming on and heckling you, calling you a talentless fudge-packer for example. It was then that Sharia Law was born. The more flack I got for my Muslim stuff the more Islamic my work got.
“I think it’s important to talk about truth. So if you have been abused as a child or subjected to a domineering mother, whether that be as result of Roman Catholicism or Islamic teachings, places like the Battersea Barge and the RVT give you the arena to explore that through performance.”
Although the topics dealt with in Alp’s shows are what society would consider contentious issues, humour and the ability to laugh at difficult topics is what he wants his audiences to really see.
“My philosophy in life, generally, is that you have to laugh. Humour is a tonic. I’m not that great a comedy writer but I think I have very good timing. And I love being able to tickle people.”
Exploring the autobiographical aspect of his shows Alp explained: “I’d say nearly all of the show is a reflection of my life and growing up as a Muslim. Obviously Mohammed and Sharia Law do not exist but my mother does and in some aspects my own mother’s responses are a lot worse than those of the comedy character Sharia. My mother is basically Sharia and I’d say Mohammed is based on me, reflecting my introverted nature.”
• Alp continues his run at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern this Thursday (18th) with his fourth show, ‘Alp Haydar’s Sharia Law’ and his concluding show, ‘Alp Haydar’s Dirty Demographic’ next Thursday (25th).
THE CHARACTERS:
Alp Haydar – The jaunty, washed-up performer who is so very disillusioned with his gay second generation immigrant identity. He medicates his audience with his loneliness and woes.
Sharia Law – Alp’s arch nemesis. She’s a curtain twitching, cruel truth-teller with strict conservative thinkings on the way Alp should live his life. She’s forever plotting and scheming to try and fix her deviant son.
Mohammed – The love of Alp’s life. Mohammed is a jihadist suicide bomber who met Alp on a flight he was trying to blow up. He’s a straight version of him and the son that Sharia always wanted Alp to be.
