At the weekend Team G-A-Y/QX took on the mother, and muddiest, of all obstacle courses – Tough Mudder. A twelve mile running course through rough terrain, with no less than twenty-one obstacles to tackle along the way. These included ice, fire, water, more water, more fucking water, a LOT of crawling through mud, swimming under pitch black tunnels, swinging across insane monkey bars, leaping across burning logs, scaling sheer pitch walls and getting electrocuted by live wires.
Our heroic team included Jeremy Joseph, owner of G-A-Y, whose idea it was in the first place, Michael Mitchell, G-A-Y manager, Cliff Joannou, QX Editor, and yours truly, Patrick Cash to complete the QX half. Together we pulled, cajoled and tugged one another through the crazy challenge, despite Cliff doubting his endurance skills and a terrible injury sustained by Mr Joseph when I accidentally dropped a log on him. Heroically though we battled through these setbacks and completed the course in a very respectable two hours and thirty-seven minutes.
We were raising money for the Elton John AIDS Foundation and a huge thank you to everyone who has donated so far. If you are inspired by our cause/challenge then there’s still time to give at www.justgiving.com/G-A-Y
Here’s what our team thought of the event, heading back to London in the car:
Jeremy: There were bits where I was thinking ‘what the fuck?’ like ‘why we are doing this?’ and there were bits where things that I was dreading weren’t as bad, like the electrocution and underneath the water, I did that without getting electrocuted and I was really proud of myself.
Cliff: That’s because you’re so small! I got electrocuted three times, twice on my arse!
Patrick: So which obstacle was everyone’s worst one?
Cliff: My worst one was underwater clinging to the cage and you going on your back with only a little bit of space to breathe…
Jeremy: I loved that one! Because I got a rhythm on it, and I was flowing across.
Patrick: The ice bath was my worst one, definitely.
Jeremy: OH MY GOD, the ice bath! They should call it the sex change! I mean that is just ridiculous, I got out of it and I was like ‘I cannot feel my feet, I’ve lost my toes’ –
Cliff: I thought it was alright.
Jeremy: It was awful! And it was really scary because when you go underwater and it’s pitch black you don’t know how long you’re going for. If I was to do it again I would train completely differently for it.
Cliff: You mean you’d do some training for it?
Jeremy: Uh, excuse me, I have done a marathon, thank you!
Cliff: The hardest bit for me was the long distance running bit, the obstacles I found really fun and enjoyable, but the running was really hard.
Patrick: I think it was enjoyable though…
Jeremy: Enjoyable is not the word I would use.
Patrick: And Cliff was our reigning champion on the monkey bars!
Jeremy: No, hang on – Cliff was our cheating champion on the monkey bars! You told me specifically to wear gloves and then I slipped off straight away –
Patrick: Yeah, you told me to wear gloves too.
Jeremy: And it was so slippery with gloves and you weren’t wearing any! I spent more time in water than anything else.
Cliff: Actually before the monkey bars I rubbed my hands in the chalky ground for grip.
Jeremy: Oh thanks for telling us for the support! No, the hardest thing for me was the body weight thing and upper body strength, like the Everest at the end where I had to try it twice to do it. The one at the beginning where we all jumped into water, that was bad too.
Cliff: It was a really high jump.
Jeremy: I know! I know! But it was the first major one and you’d all done it, so I knew I had to do it.
Patrick: Yeah, well it’s all about perseverance and carrying on, isn’t it?
Michael Mitchell wasn’t in the car for our conversation on the way back, but here’s his account of the day.
Michael: For me Tough Mudder is an experience I will never forgot. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of the best. I loved the fact we worked as
a team and there were some points I thought I could not continue but with the support of my teammates I soldiered on. Plus seeing all the hot guys too made it better!
THE LOG-TROWING INCIDENT
Patrick: So, one of the obstacles we had to complete involved picking up a log (as in a big log, like part of a sliced-up tree trunk) and carry it on your shoulders around the wood. As I was going to put mine down I suddenly unbalanced and dropped the log from my hands and straight into the back of the leg of the man in front of me, who only happened to be my own teammate, Jeremy Joseph! I felt terrible! But fair play to Jeremy, after a little bit of swearing and hopping at the pain, he immediately put foot back down to ground and started running again. That’s the meaning of Tough Mudder!
Jeremy: For me, it was funniest how the man from Tough Mudder jumped in, going ‘it was an accident! It was an accident!’ like he thought Pat and I were going to have a fight or something. Obviously even though I was in absolute agony, we were halfway through at that point and giving up was never an option!
• You can still donate to our Tough Mudder cause, raising money for the Elton John AIDS Foundation, at www.justgiving.com/G-A-Y
• And if you think we were suitably heroic in our endeavours then you are welcome to come dressed us as to the G-A-Y Super Heroes Parties on Fri 14th and Sat 15th June at Heaven (under the Arches, Villiers Street, Charing Cross, WC2N 6NG). For each attendee in fancy dress – you don’t have to be dressed as us! – £1 will be donated by G-A-Y to the Elton John AIDS Foundation. For more info, see Club News.
