Any gay man (and most other people too) knows that the ass is an intimate and intricate part of our sexual lives. Celebrating our sex with pride, we chatted to two well-known boys from the world of gay porn, Ashley Ryder and Kayden Gray, to talk about what their ass means to them.
ASHLEY RYDER
What does your ass mean to you?
My ass means to me… everything really, I guess. It’s the thing that comes after my personality. It’s my personality then my ass. I’ll make you laugh and then I’ll sit on you.
And how did you discover you were a bottom?
I took my first cock in the ass and was like ‘this was what I’ve been made for’, and I discovered that in my teens. I tried sucking someone, didn’t enjoy it, sat on their cock and was like ‘this is what it’s for’.
“I need to be impaled”
Did you fantasise about it beforehand?
No, not at all. I just kind of fell into my role. Yeah, I prefer it over fucking. Way more. I like to be fucked, I never really like to fuck. I only fuck if I’m angry with them, I have to have a reason not to like you to want to do it to you.
What do you feel about topping otherwise?
I find it really boring. I’m like, ‘what am I doing, this is ridiculous, your cock is much bigger than mine, turn around and let me do it.’
But you’ve never had an issue with pain?
No, that’s the whole point of being a bottom. There’s an element of pain to being a bottom, that’s the fun part. And the more you get used to the pain – it’s like a chilli, the more chillies you eat, the more you can take. So, the more cock you take, the more you want, and the itch gets deeper and deeper and deeper until eventually you’re like ‘I need two cocks in my ass now, I need a bigger dildo, I need more, I need more, I need more’. It controls you, I am controlled by my ass. I can’t think sometimes unless I get physically fucked and I either have to go and have it done and get it over and done with and I can get back on with my life, or I just go mental.
Okay, and finally what’s the perfect cock for your ass?
The perfect cock for my ass is something that just bends slightly, about nine inches, nine to ten. Kayden Gray’s dick is probably the perfect size and shape, that’s been hand-crafted by god. If it was an inch bigger it’d be even better, but sometimes length isn’t always everything, I’m a girth boy. If your dick is as thick as my forearm then we need to meet. I don’t care if it’s seven inches or ten inches, if it’s as thick as your forearm or your thigh then we need to meet, because that’s what I like. I really want to feel like I’m being driven by a stake. Pinned to the bed, like I can’t get off it. If I can actually wriggle and get off your cock, then we’re not going to be married, it’s not for me. I need to be impaled.
KAYDEN GRAY
What does your ass mean to you?
It’s a part of my body of course, but also a channel into my intimate life. It plays a huge part in my sex life, both physically and spiritually.
What was it like the first time you tried bottoming?
It was actually excruciatingly painful. I was pretty young, so was he, and neither of us knew what we were doing. We didn’t know we should use lube and so, even though he never put it in fully, it hurt like hell. But there was something about it that had me wanting to do it again… And again.
“Even as a bottom I’m verrrrry much active”
When was your first good experience of bottoming?
It wasn’t until I came out at twenty-one, which is when I started having a lot more sex with men. Even though bottoming was pretty painful, I did it anyway, until the pain stopped and I could revel in the pleasure of it.
We know that you’re a versatile performer. What is topping like for you in relation to bottoming?
Bottoming on screen very often takes a lot out of me because shooting porn is never as intimate as sex in private, so I do prefer to top far more than bottom on set. But then again I suppose it depends on my scene partner. I do often end up being top both on and off-screen because of my size. Still I’d say I’m completely 50/50 in private.
Do you feel, or have you found, a more intimate connection with your body through the passive aspect of your sexuality?
Yes, I may not prefer either topping or bottoming, but I’d definitely say that intimacy between me and another guy only deepens to its full potential when I get fucked by him. And by the way I’m never very ‘passive’ – even as a bottom I’m verrrrry much active.
And finally, what’s the perfect cock for your ass or the perfect ass for your cock?
Haha! The perfect cock for my ass would be one of a good size. That would sure make me more inclined to bottom. And one from a guy who knows how to use it, as well, who really knows how to fuck. And the perfect ass? I mean a lot of boys get nervous when they see a big dick, so I’d say I prefer an experienced ass… But still in good condition.
