What do Bears have to be proud of? Ahead of XXL Bear Pride this weekend, Anthony Gilét breaks down why bears will always be da bomb…
Counting calories? Bitch, please
The Bears are to the gay body image what Lena Dunham is for women in their 20s. Eat what they want, and be proud. Which also means you don’t have to feel guilty tucking into a half-pounder in front of them. And they throw a mean BBQ.
No manscaping – that’s fur sure
There’re plenty of gay men that claim they like their “men to be men”. These men are usually tweeting this whilst taking advantage of a 3 for 2 offer on Veet in Superdrug. Bears don’t even know what a ‘beautician’ is, and will never have to feel the horrific pain of waxing. Fair play. Emancipate yourself from man-scaping slavery. There’s freedom to be found in fur.
Their attitude contradicts their ‘names’
Whilst you may hear “bear” and picture the feistiest animal of the woods, the last thing you’ll see is two of them in leather chaps brawling outside XXL. If they’re not worried about their physique, they’re certainly not bothered by what brand of trainers you’re wearing.
Ability to recycle
Most of us have to retire our statement outfits after just a couple of wears, forever chained to adhering to the latest trend to waft onto the high street only to immediately be out of favour a few months later, but the Bears can rock a leather waistcoat and handle bar moustache from the 70s and it still won’t look out of place (well, unless they’re in Tesco, perhaps).
No shame in music taste
While plenty of us have “guilty pleasures”, even the burliest of Bears will happily stick two fingers up at minimal beats and prog-tech-house and let their (back) hair down for a guilt-free skank out to the latest Britney remix – well, most of them.
A Bear always trumps a Queen
As some gay men get older (let’s not mention any names, eh) life may not have gone the way they planned and they’re more bitter than Charlie Sheen in the midst of a divorce battle. But the Bears get wiser as they get older. And while a Twink look withers with age, Bears become vintage and rugged.
It’s a club that everyone’s welcome in
Bears aren’t ones for an exclusive over-sized club. They welcome one and all! If you’re a skinny bear lover, grow a moustache, and – wa-hey! – you’re an otter. Dashingly handsome older gent going grey with pride? Ta-dah, you’re a wolf! Fresh-faced, burly bloke too young to be a full grown bear just yet? Fear not, Beardom awaits, but for now, you be a cub, kiddo! Got a gal-pal that loves the bigger, fuzzier gay boy? She be Goldilocks!
Winter warmth
You can save money on central heating and overpriced Onesies just by snagging yourself a Bear boyfriend. #Winning
• XXL Bear Pride is at Pulse (1 Invicta Plaza, Southbank, SE1 9UF) on Saturday 24th May, 9pm–9am.
