Joe Holyoake on two unique and surprising albums from two very different artists
It’s odd to think that Britney is less than 6 years older than Frank Ocean. I always imagine her to be a middle-aged soccer mom now, and him to still be in the angst-ridden throes of that first man-crush he wrote about on Tumblr that time. This tiny age gap highlights just how young she was when she first got big, and just how long Ocean has been wanking around with the follow-up to the idolised ‘Channel Orange’.
But here they are; both releasing long-awaited albums in the same week. Two gay icons, but with wildly different amounts of cultural currency.
Like all important artists today, Frank Ocean couldn’t just release an album the old-fashioned way. ‘Blonde’, or ‘Blond’ as it confusingly says on the cover, was unexpectedly released, first through pop-up shops in New York, LA, Chicago and London, then made available for exclusive streaming on Apple Music. It was accompanied with a 300-page magazine called ‘Boys Don’t Cry’, as well as a visual album, Endless, which sees three Oceans building a set of stairs. In the middle of a warehouse, leading to nowhere in particular. The metaphors write themselves.
Britney didn’t do that. Even in her edgy ‘Blackout’ days, she didn’t go to this effort. Instead, she did it in the time-honoured way of releasing a banging teaser single. No visual albums, just a video for ‘Make Me…’ in which she and her friends ogle the buff models they’re casting, before she goes off to sleep with the hottest one. It’s refreshingly basic, and it’s probably a good job she didn’t go to the same palaver as Ocean. Last time she set up a pop-up shop in the middle of the night, she shaved all her hair off.
So, who comes out on top between these two homo heavyweights?
Let’s ignore ‘Endless’ for the moment. I mean, it’s kind of interesting. The backing music is subdued snippets of Ocean’s manipulated vocals and smooth, bedroom-ready R&B, with the briefest of forays into skittering drum & bass towards the end, but much like the leftovers from the steps he’s sawing, they’re just offcuts. In days gone by, these ideas would’ve remained unlistened to as B-sides, now it’s just an accompanying visual album. It’s one for the Ocean obsessives. And fans of DIY. My father would love his tidy workplace, the correct protective gear worn throughout, and the thoroughness he applies to the job at hand.
‘Blonde’ is so much better and worth the years of rumours and false warnings. And let’s just say, your ‘I-can’t-stop-thinking-about-him’ playlist has been sorted for the foreseeable future; it’s a pretty maudlin affair, reminiscing about former lovers and the like. Though, like Channel Orange, Blonde isn’t a massively gay record, aside from a few ‘hims’ littered around and an aimless date at a gay bar described in ‘Good Guy’. In fact, he mentions cars way more than men, though these are often one and the same, as on the fragile ‘White Ferrari’. A bit weird. Overall, it’s a pretty wistful record, and the sexy lo-fi beats are remarkably consistent, considering the amount of producers and contributors involved. In fact, Ocean invites two of the biggest artists around today to feature, in Beyoncé and Kendrick Lamar, and just has them singing nearly unrecognisable backing vocals, on ‘Pink and White’ and ‘Skyline To’ in turn. Now THAT’s someone who’s feeling pretty confident.
And what about Britney’s ninth album, ‘Glory’? The good news is that she’s finished chasing a faddy EDM sound, with will.i.am’s unsubtle approach mercifully dumped. Britney’s breathy sex-purr always works better over slightly more restrained electro-pop, which makes up the bulk of the album. And it really just drips with sex. She starts off on ‘Invitation’ inviting him to ‘put your love all over me’, before moving onto the sultry banger ‘Make Me…’ and the orgasmic chorus. ’Do You Want to Come Over?’, which is madly addictive, stops just short of a dickpic and a ‘can you accomm?’. Sometimes, this jars when her voice is overly-produced to sound infantile, like on the cartoonish ‘Private Show’, but it’s mostly sweaty, sensual shag-anthems. It sounds like it would be incredible to hear at her Las Vegas residency.
So, there we have it. Two sleek, sexy records released in the same week, though what it really highlights is how quickly the wheel turns. The release of ‘Blonde’ was an event, picked apart and analysed by broadsheet journalists, whereas ‘Glory’, Britney’s first in three years, came out with minimum fuss, which shows just how far down the pecking order Britney has fallen. One minute you’re working with the hottest producers and the critics are feting you for ‘Blackout’, and the next, it’s will.i.am, James Corden’s Carpool Karaoke and appearing alongside Kevin Bacon in a hammy EE advert. Frank Ocean should do as much to take note of this; it’s not going to be visual albums and pop-up shops forever. Sometime in the future, he’ll have to launch a new album with a video of him and his gaggle at a casting surrounded by hot models. AND I CAN’T WAIT.
