Right, it’s time to come clean. We LOVE trash TV, and we know you do too. Whether you’ve pulled a sickie or working a late shift, daytime talk shows are the shit. You can sit there for hours just letting the stupidity wash over you like waves on a tropical shore. From Jeremy Kyle to Jerry Springer, they can’t be said to be approaching social issues with sensitivity, but you really don’t care when it’s this entertaining. Every now and then worlds collide and we see queer people hop on these shows… for some reason, proving that us gays are just as trashy as the rest of those straight people.
We decided to round up the worst of the worst when it comes to trashy talk show appearances from your every day gay.
Gay for Pay, Tyra
Don’t get us wrong, we love some America’s Next Top Model but Tyra was not the one. Especially when it came to gay issues, or in this case, not gay issues. In this segment on straight identified pornstars and sex workers and their decision to perform with other men Tyra is every skinny best friend in every rom-com. Her prissy attitude to sex is not the one, and she seems absolutely baffled by the fact that even straight men can receive pleasure from anal stimulation. We’re sure some of the men she’s been with enjoy a good pegging. She presses gay porn actor Kurt Wild on what he’s going to tell his three kids about what he does for a living, to which he respectfully replies that he’ll tell them to “just be what you want to be.” This does NOT please queen Tyra and she goes off on one… not a good look, sis.
They’re brothers, The Jeremy Kyle Show
Ugh. This one. This story of boyfriends discovering they’re estranged brothers is one that has stuck with a lot of us. Us Brits like to pretend we’re above this awful brand daytime talk show, and yet here we are. This segment wasn’t filmed in front of a studio audience but was still televised which speaks to Mr. Kyle’s morality. They both look terrified throughout, and when the news finally comes the quiver of a bottom lip has us feeling like they might throw up. HOW did this happen? And WHY did it happen on national television? It’s both terrifying and tragic. A true cautionary tale.
A husband’s big secret, Dr. Phil
This little segment had us scratching our head as to why this husband looked familiar. This excruciating conversation between husband and wife is a LOT. He and his wife have had problems for a while but good ‘ol Dr.Phil has backed him into a corner so there’s only one way out, to come clean. It’s dangerously close to an outing, but since it’s more about the infidelity we’ll let it slip. This one left us feeling gross but also had us looking for those videos he was making a little money from… Does that make us horrible human beings?
Keeping it all in the family, The Jerry Springer Show
Jerry Springer has enjoyed great success from bringing on bombastic characters on to battle it out on his stage. This one is particularly strange when Kenneth admits to being torn between a father and a son, which sounds like some off-brand porno story. After a long term relationship with a man, he’s enlisted the help of Mr. Springer to let his man know he’s been carrying out an affair with his son for the past few months. It all goes very south for Kenneth when he’s rejected by both parties, which might be what he deserves but we probably would forgive him. He’s damn fine.
We met on Grindr, Judge Judy
Is NOTHING sacred!? Grindr was a word we never thought we’d hear Judge Judy utter in her lifetime. In a case involving unpaid bills, the divine light that is Judge Judith Sheindlin wanted to find out how Mr Murphy came to befriend the older man he was indebted to. “We met on a social website.” wasn’t enough for her so she presses on, “Grindr it’s an app.” Judge Judy single-handedly dismisses anyone’s claim that they’ve ever gone on Grindr to look for ‘just friends’. You go, Judy.
