James Barr thinks straight men should be more gay!

Straight men should be more gay, and I don’t mean ‘sucking d*** gay’ (unless they want that). Men are also a victim of the patriarchy, obviously no way near as much as women and queer people but there’s an unspoken mental health crisis in men. Maybe I can help. Come and get some gay mate, welcome to conversion therapy lads.

I think things would be a lot better for our brothers if they kissed their mates on the cheek, danced to Kylie and experienced the unadulterated freedom of eating a banana in public. Think about it, have you ever seen a straight guy eat a banana on the bus?! It’s just a banana lads, it’s not gay. My podcast A Gay and A NonGay has taught me that a lot of straight men are so wrapped up in a fear of ‘looking gay’ that they’re afraid to eat bananas, sausages, baguettes or anything that looks like a dick in public. It’s not just phallic foods either. My co host Dan Hudson has been shamed for ordering a wine at the pub with his mates, as if a drink made of someone aggressively stomping around on some grapes for hours isn’t inherently straight white male?! I saw a straight man on Twitter suggest that recycling is gay. Seriously?! Looking after the planet makes you strong. Intimacy with your friends improves your mental health and Kylie knows how to make a bop.

If straight guys were free to explore their own femininity without subconsciously worrying about being seen as gay by their peers, the world would be a much happier place. There’s an antiquated idea that femininity is ‘weak’ and this is especially prevalent when you look at comedy. I think straight male comedians like Dave Chappelle and Ricky Gervais are making jokes about trans women, because they are women. We aren’t seeing the same jokes about trans men, are we? Trans men face less discrimination than trans women across the board and it’s because men are defined as ‘strong’, whereas a trans woman is so often unjustifiably treated like a threat to masculinity. Women everywhere should be offended by these lazy offensive jokes about trans women because they’re completley rooted in misogyny.

It’s time dudes stopped worrying about being gay and learnt how to be comfortable as themselves.

It’s time dudes stopped worrying about being gay and learnt how to be comfortable as themselves. Our Dads could drink mimosas at the football, fabulous. Your uni friends Big Ste and Peahead could meet for brunch. It’s not gay, it’s eggs.

My new hour ‘Straight Jokes’ is the gayest show of all time. It’s an hour of non-stop laughs and a response to lazy straight comedians. I roast my ex-radio employers for telling me to be “less camp” on air, question so-called ‘gay conversion therapists’ and clapback at my family. It’s a battle cry to be yourself and it’s not just for my LGBTQ+ family, it’s for straight people too. Being straight is great and you don’t need to make jokes about gay and trans people to feel better about yourself Ricky Gervais, why don’t you make jokes about your own community? Queer jokes are not yours to make Ricky, they’re mine you big poof.