Having already offended everyone in the New World, The Kinsey Sicks crash-land in London for their debut UK performance this May (20th-24th). Their week long show: “America’s Next Top Bachelor Housewife Celebrity Hoarder Makeover Star Gone Wild” will run at XXL Bear Pride and also marks their 20th anniversary. Described as America’s favourite dragapella beauty-shop quartet, they’ve toured internationally, recorded eight albums, been the subject of two films and even appeared on America’s Got Talent. Jason Reid spoke to Rachel, Winnie, Trixie and Trampolina to find out more about the very crazy world of the Kinsey Sicks…
RACHEL
Tell us something random and interesting about yourself.
Well, my mother told me I was born in a manger, the truth is that I was only conceived in one. Nonetheless, I was born with mange, which is good enough for me. I extend my love and gratitude to anyone who will have sex with me.
And apparently a freak accident caused the group to be formed…
Freak accidents happen to us all the time. I once inadvertently got between Princess Anne and a horse, and the resulting confusion and sexual arousal – and I’m not referring only to my own – got me permanently banned from Balmoral. Oh, but I really don’t remember the accident that resulted in the Kinsey Sicks being formed.
What do you have in store for the London shows?
Personally, I intend to use each performance to troll the audience for gullible and preferably intoxicated post-show trysts. The others in the group will sing glorious a cappella harmony with hilarious lyrics and biting dialogue, but it won’t get them laid.
WINNIE
How did you get to where you are today?
I started out as a governess for impressionable young children. Then the showbiz bug bit me. This was a distressing surprise because I make it a point never to have bugs in my home.
Apart from gigging, what else are you looking forward to squeezing in while you’re here in London?
I see what you’re doing here missy! That’s a trick question to get me to say something dirty. Well, I won’t cooperate. I will, though, say in all seriousness that I hope to squeeze in David Bowie at the Victoria & Albert. Oh fuck, I fell for it.
Tell us about the group’s appearance on America’s Got Talent…
Well, we were contestants for a while. In fact, our first performance was used as the Series Three promotional trailer! We were psyched. Then they got a deeper whiff of who we are and, well, that was the last we were seen on the show. Doesn’t matter though – we’re sure to win “America’s Next Top Bachelor Housewife Celebrity Hoarder Makeover Star Gone Wild.” But you’ll have to come see us at Pulse to find out if it happens.
TRIXIE
Describe yourself, imagining you’re on a TV dating show, Trixie.
During my rare moments of leisure, I can be found at Tiffany or Cartier in the company of handsome – and generous – gentlemen. I’m always available for a casual and lucrative marriage. I prefer to perform using only my first name, like other great ladies of stage and screen such as Madonna, Adele and Lassie.
You’ve been together twenty years now, in total harmony, but how is that harmony maintained, on and off stage, and who would you say is the mediator?
It’s true. For two whole decades we’ve been serving the world with our biting satire, razor-sharp wit, and trashy talk, all in glorious four-part harmony. Winnie and I are fierce musical taskmasters, and the group swears by our nightly pre-show protein gurgle. But the greatest credit for our musical longevity goes to our beloved and fabulously underpaid therapist.
If you were president of the US what’d be the first law you’d implement?
Make gay divorce legal, with double the alimony. So – who’s single, rich and easily ditched?
TRAMPOLINA
Introduce yourself, as you would in everyday life, Trampolina.
Hi, I’m Trampolina. And I’m so fornicate to be here.
What one motto or saying do you try to live your life by?
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but if I need to pee, watch out bush.
We love your parody videos on YouTube, do you have a favourite?
What a coincidence, I also like all the ones on YouTube! There’s no other place you can find our videos. Unless you count www.kinseysicks.com, where you can also buy our CDs, DVDs, and T-shirts, which we can also sell to you after our shows at Pulse. And why not?
• The Kinsey Sicks will be playing from Monday 20th – Friday 24th May with their Famous Dragapella at Pulse (1 Invicta Plaza, South Bank, SE1 9UF). Kinsey Sicks start at 7.30pm, followed by Miss Peppermint and Sherry Vine at 9.30pm. Tickets £20 in advance from www.clubtickets.com
