Dylan Jones’ guide to the city’s best secret drinking dens.
Are you sick of instagramming your pornstar martinis? Tired of battling through twinks at Tottenham Court Road? Or perhaps you’re getting bored of stumbling around basements in Dalston, pretending to like FKA Twigs and spilling beer all down your Topman galaxy-print tee.
WELL, QX Magazine have got the answer! Dylan Jones has scouted out the city’s hidden gems. The tucked-away watering holes concealed down dusky alleys, perfect for a clandestine Carlsberg, or sitting in a lovely lamplit booth reading Alan Hollinghurst, or SOMETHING like that. Y’know, crackling fires, sipping sherry with your pinky extended, exchanging knowing glances with the handsome silver-haired businessman at the other end of the bar. That sort of thing. You get the picture.
The Queen’s Head
This lovely little pub is in the heart of Chelsea, nestled in a side street between yummy mummy mecca Fulham and the thinly-veiled but glamorous snobbery of the Kings Road. Its owner is supposedly perpetually tipsy and perpetually Irish. He’s owned the place for years and it’s his passion, apparent in the aging but meticulously maintained décor. I went with an old flame (a shag) who lives in the area, and we got chatting to a punter called Leslie who was a butler. A BUTLER. When I asked who he worked for he said “I would tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.” Someone’s been watching too many Bond films.
25 Tryon Street, SW3 3LG
New Evaristo Club
I think the term for this sort of place is a “speak easy” but this isn’t TImeOut Magazine, so for now we’ll call it a “swig pit”. It’s top secret, and located behind a nondescript and rather grubby-looking door on Greek Street. No signage, nothing. We CAN tell you the door is blue. Unless it’s been raining, when it turns sort of a dull green colour. Inside, the owner sways on a bar stool drinking wine, while a Staffordshire bull terrier pads about the place. They also have pictures of Mussolini and Hitler on the walls, for some reason. Don’t think too much about that. Just have another whiskey.
57 Greek Street, W1D 3DX
King William IV
One of London’s oldest gay pubs, The King William IV is steeped in history. “Steeped”, that’s the sort of thing Michael Palin would say isn’t it. It’s the sort of thing you’d hear on the Antiques Roadshow. It may never have been used in QX Magazine before. Anyway it’s true, it is steeped! It discreetly starting catering for confirmed bachelors in the 1930’s when Hampstead Heath became a popular stomping ground (ahem). It’s played host to some iconic drinkers over the years, from Boy George, to Michael Barrymore, to, of course, George Michael (whose name is a melding of Boy George’s surname and Michael Barrymore’s last name, how odd). There was also a DOUBLE MURDER there, and Derek Acora says it’s haunted. History! Homosexuality! Homicide! It’s all there, at King William IV pub. Added trivia; its regulars call it “Willies”.
77 Hampstead High Street, NW3 1RE
Manero’s
It’s another speakeasy (swig pit). I feel a bit bad writing about them actually, they’re so determined to keep the place quiet that sometimes when they see people coming they make the bouncer pretend to be a construction worker. Located on Kingsland Road right near QX fave The Glory, the place is recognisable by its bright yellow door. It’s a hedonistic hipster hive of debauchery. If this were the 1920s, absinthe and opium would be flowing and Anna May Wong would be there, tapping her cigarette on a cat. The reality actually isn’t that much different, come to think of it.
232 Kingsland Road, E2 8AX
Retro Bar
Now this doesn’t TECHNICALLY qualify as an “undiscovered gem”, because lots of people have discovered it. In fact it’s a bit of a scene favourite. But thankfully it hasn’t been contaminated by the Katy Perry-loving, TOWIE-quoting masses just yet. It’s down a little piss-strewn alley just off The Strand, and every Tuesday plays host to the brilliantly sardonic Myra Dubois and her half-arsed pub quiz. There’s the chance to win a prize from “The Box Of Shit”, which last time we were there, contained a Hannah Montana board game, an unauthorised Jack Dee biography, and a commemorative Charles and Diana mug. Retro Bars great, the bar staff look like backing dancers for Alphabeat and the walls are plastered with Kate Bush posters. Amazing.
2 George Court, WC2N 6HH
