21/07/12: West was most certainly best last Saturday, as we got our glad rags on and headed down to West 5 to celebrate fourteen glorious years since she burst onto the scene.

The all-dayer was in aid of HIV charity The Food Chain, and cock-hungry Sandra hosted, displaying why she’s one of the scene’s top acts! She worked the crowd expertly, on and off stage, churning out near-the-knuckle witticisms and improvising at a magnificent pace, as the outdoor stage’s ‘revolving belt of cabaret’ went into overdrive.

The sun shone, the barbecue sizzled and variety was the order of the day in the form of fine operatic stylings from Divina De Campo, copper groping from Son Of A Tutu, sparkling magic from Adora Dix, hot dog noshing and belting big tunes from Jacquii Cann, machine- gun speed gags from Wilma Fingadoo (most of which are non-repeatable) and Mandy Gap singing about her ‘lesbian fan club’.

The day was wall-to-wall entertainment, with over twenty spectacular acts performing. It was Lady Imelda, though, who I thought really smashed it. Within the first minute of her opening song the audience were transfixed and swept away by a tidal wave of mighty vocals.

Her ladyship then weaved amongst the crowd with a pint glass on her head collecting for the charity, whilst singing ‘Memory’ from Cats. Is there no end to her talents? She even taught us how to give someone a gob job without getting pubes up our nose (as you do?).

It’s no mean feat organising a day of free cabaret that spans over ten hours, but they pulled it off beautifully. One of the most enjoyable and welcoming events of the year. Happy Birthday, West 5.

West 5, Popes Lane, South Ealing, W5 4NB
Words by Jason Reid