09/05/14: Can you believe the timing? Rumours erupted all over the web after we’d gone to print on last week’s issue that Miley Cyrus was to perform a surprise gig at Friday’s G-A-Y Camp Attack.
o, we set about to torturing Jeremy Joseph in the dungeon at QX Towers to find out more by stitching his eyes wide open and forcing him to watch The Drag Queens of London on repeat. He eventually relented (seven minutes into the first episode) and revealed all. Yes, Miss Cyrus WAS performing!
It’s not as if it was enough that Rita Ora was already billed to perform at G-A-Y on the Saturday night. It’s not as if it was enough that Gay Star News and Visit Denmark were co-hosting last week’s Camp Attack with a Eurovision special. It’s not enough that they were giving away a flight for two to Copenhagen with front row seats to the Eurovision final. It’s not enough that Jay Aston, original Bucks Fizz member, was giving the prize away. (OK, actually maybe that was more than enough.) But, no, they had to go and throw Miley Cyrus into the mix!
Now, listen here y’all: I was never really a Miley fan. But this was a pop culture moment to be cherished! I mean Miley Cyrus on stage at G-A-Y with Jay Aston? (OK, well maybe just the Miley Cyrus bit!) And so, after clubbers Catalina and Jordan won the prize and were zoomed off to Copenhagen, we were the real winners as Miley strutted on stage. And boy did she take over, working her way through album cuts like ‘SMS’, ‘4 x 4’, ‘Love Money Party’, ‘Get It Right’, ‘On My Own’ and smashes ‘Wrecking Ball’ and ‘We Can’t Stop’. We were totally converted.
And to polish it all off, she had us bent over double with anecdotes into the mind of Miley:
“Everyone’s a little gay, just some people are more than others. All it takes is one cocktail. And if it doesn’t work just sprinkle a little something in their drink!”
“If I was a dude I think I’d have a really big, fat cock.”
“There’s so many of you I would take home and do so many dirty things to. There’s always something I can strap on…”
“One day I decided I was going to start being myself. When you stop giving a fuck you realise how much you can do.”
Amen!
Heaven, Villiers Street, WC2N 6NG
Words by Cliff Joannou
