13/03/14+15/03/14: G-A-Y launched its new season of Porn Idol last week with not one but two nights of willy waving wonder by a bevy of cute cocks and ‘cockettes’.
Part 1 on Thursday were the blind heats where, in the style of The Voice, judges Michael, Tanya Hyde and Baga Chipz were blindfolded as the performances started, only turning their chairs to watch based on audience reaction. If only one judge turned they got the stripper for their team – if more than one turned then the stripper chose who they wanted to mentor them. Seems simple doesn’t it?
But best laid plans and all that meant that from the first 4 contestants Baga got 1 and Michael 3, leaving Tanya alone on the shelf and getting desperate. Determined not to be out done, as contestant 5 took to the stage Tanya whipped off her blindfold and spun her chair around to claim the boy, only causing him to trip, fall and flee from the stage in embarrassment! Amazingly, by the end of the evening, they all had a team of 3 to mentor for the £1000 final just 2 days later.
Due, in part, to their exceptional herding skills, or lack thereof, as Saturday arrived all the judges had managed to lose at least one of their acts – or, in Baga’s case, 2 of them – so the now 5 contestants were supplemented by reserves and audience members… The concept seemed so simple in the beginning!
Team Tanya’s Victor and Craig went first giving us army and leather themes. Then came Team Michael’s Anatasia with girl on a lead, a suited David and cute, tattooed Conah with two drag queens and a dancer as support. Bringing up the rear was Team Baga’s sole remaining contestant Britney, complete with a Putin mask attached to her pants… What a c*nt! Four wannabes from the audience brought the total to 10 but after a closely fought dance-off it was Baga Chipz’ girl Britney who walked off with the wonga, proving once again that you don’t actually need a willy to win a willy waving competition!
Porn Idol continues with a normal service every Thursday, or as normal as they get, so get down there and show us what you’re made of!
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Words by Chris Jepson
